I am so fucking fed up I can barely speak.

My boss is a world class asshole sometimes. I have the utmost respect for what she has done in creating the sanctuary where I work, but she has NO people skills whatsoever. Example, she once gave a lecture to us in the morning meeting after there was some controversy over her going into the ape areas after hours and doing "training" with the animals...but it was creating problems not solving them. The lecture culminated in "I KNOW APES, YOU DON'T. YOU FEED THEM AND KNOW WHAT THEIR POOP LOOKS LIKE BUT YOU DON'T KNOW APES LIKE I KNOW THEM!" Caps because she was practically yelling by that point. And that is one of the more tame things she has said to basically undermine and demean us and she doesn't even realize it.

Today I had the 100th talk with her about how her plan to move more apes to my main building is going to be a detriment to the group. She isn't wanting to increase the group, they will be their own group, but she wants to house more animals there. Meanwhile, I'm using EVERY single room in the house every night to try and keep the animals as calm as possible and even that isn't working most of the time.

My area is the MOST stressful and unstable area with a group that cannot seem to figure out what to do with themselves or each other. Every time I try to talk about some of the things I'd like to do to try and make them a more cohesive group I'm told "Great idea, but not right now." Meanwhile she is full steam ahead to move more animals into the building that is in no way prepared to accomodate them. I have explained every detail of what concerns me about the group so many times I feel like a broken record. Today, I was left feeling even more frustrated than I have ever felt before, probably because this was one of the BAD days for my group. I spent the day breaking up fights and mediating between angry chimps and wanting to scream "SEE??????????" at my boss who was oblivious as usual.

I got so angry it was all I could do not to cry (reflex of mine that ticks me off every time, I get really mad or frustrated all of the sudden I'm in tears).

*sigh* I asked her for a different routine, just for a month, to give me a break. Problem is, no one wants to take my area because it is the hardest one there. Someone kill me, please?

*Hugs*
It sounds like you've put alot of thought into how to manage your area. What would happen if you just started doing things, little by little, the way you want to? Would she even notice??

The problem is, some of the things I think need to be done, and others agree with me on, are not little things. This is a group that was thrown together and expected to just be okay and she wants to think it is, but there are at least 3 major fractures in relationships in the group and there are only 5 animals in it! Some of the things that I've done recently to try and help were more minor actions and well within my scope to decide upon for the day, but I was pulled aside and told that I shouldn't do that again. They are a group, they should be a group, except for the two males that refuse to go together so they are alternated as to what days they go out with the "group" but any attempt to try and put them back together, with just the two of them, is dismissed as not that important.

BTW, it was not me who put this group together. I thought it was a bad idea, said so, was ignored and given the group and then everything I said would happen...happened. But I don't know anything about apes. I just feed them and look at their poop. *eye roll*

Out of curiousity, how did you come to work in your field?

It really started when I was a teen. My entire life I have wanted to work with animals. I was 6 when I declared I would be a zoo vet when I grew up. At 13, I started volunteering for the Louisville Zoo as a "keeper assistant." Basically I did whatever they told me to, and the first summer I helped with the summer camp for small kids 5 to 8 and worked a couple days a week in the small animal/petting area (which is no longer there, replaced by a kick ass exhibit dedicated to islands). After that first summer, I was given the chance to work in other areas and boy did I ever. I spent the next 5 years working essentially 40 hour work weeks at the zoo and learned so much. When I went to college, I stopped having the time but I missed it.

Fast forward a few years of jobs to pay the bills and so forth, I end up in Florida working a job I hated and my mom was working for a company that does the payroll for the place I now work. I got in touch with them to see about volunteering there, they called me about a pay position. I took a small paycut to work there as an assistant (professional pooper scooper) and after 2 months there was offered a position as a keeper. I am so glad I got back to what I've always wanted to do, I just wish it was in a place where I felt like what I say matters. I'm actually looking for a position in an AZA accredited zoo so that I can go back to school, finish my degree, and get my masters...and hopefully be working for the place where I can spend the rest of my career.